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October 31st, 1981

Lily had fallen asleep with the tattered book in her lap.  She had read Pride and Prejudice countless times, but never seemed to enjoy it any less.  James could not comprehend why she loved it so much; it was tedious and long, full of too much talking and not enough fighting.  

"Lily," he murmured into her hair.  "Lily."  She stirred, opening her eyes halfway, and smiled sleepily at him.  "We should go upstairs to sleep.  We'll both have backaches tomorrow if we stay here."  She nodded and sat up, stretching.  

A soft cracking sound reached their ears.  Husband and wife stopped dead, suddenly no longer tired.  

"James, the spells…"

The horrifying, high-pitched cackle reached their ears.  The one that invaded their nightmares every night.  

You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright


"Lily, take Harry and go!" he shouted, diving for his wand.  "It's him!  Go!  Run!  I'll hold him off!"

"That's suicide!"

He grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her desperately.  "I know.  But I can buy you some time.  Now go."  

"James, no—"

He pushed her towards the stairs, almost roughly.  "Go!"

Lily stumbled, her sight blurred by tears, but managed to find the stairs and climb them.  A horribly familiar cackle reverberated through the house, followed by the crash of a curse hitting something.

Too late, Lily realized she had left her wand downstairs.

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand


The tall figure, robed in flowing black, entered the room slowly, lazily.  "Valiant, Potter, but it won't matter.  She can't Apparate."  A stream of yellow light shot from his wand, which James dodged.  "Ironic, that all your protective spells should work to my advantage."

James dodged another curse, not unlike dodging a Bludger, and threw one of his own.  Voldemort batted it aside effortlessly, destroying the couch and coffee table.  Someone's spell blasted through the wall and half of the kitchen, reducing it to smithereens.  Plaster dust made James' eyes water, and he swore.  He flung another curse at the black shape in front of him.  

"Am I too much without your classmates backing you?"  

James felt a curse hit him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him and slamming him against the wall.  

"You have no idea how much I've looked forward to this moment, Potter," he said, advancing on him, wand up.  "You've caused me a lot of grief.  Finally, die.  Avada—"

James threw out a leg, sending the murderous wizard sprawling.  The ridiculousness would have been comical any other time.  James jumped to his feet, planting himself directly in front of the stairs.  "Leave.  Them.  Alone."

Voldemort laughed, rising back to his feet.  "You cannot stop me."

"Watch me."

Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on


Regardless of his confident, defiant words, James knew that he could not win this fight.  He was straining his ears, trying to figure out if Lily had gotten out.

James saw the lipless mouth form the words, saw the green light shooting towards him, but even as he moved to dodge, he knew he was a split second too late.

Voldemort cackled again as the life was wiped from hazel eyes.  If anyone had come anywhere close to causing the trouble for him that Dumbledore had, it would be James Potter.  Something resembling a smile appeared on the mutilated face as he walked up the stairs smoothly.  There was no way the girl had escaped, there were too many wards on the house and she had left her wand downstairs.

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand


She had pushed the dresser up against the door in a weak attempt to buy some time.  He blasted it apart with a Reductor Curse, almost embarrassing in its simplicity.  She was holding the crying baby to her chest and deposited him in his crib as Voldemort stepped over the broken wood.  She turned and threw her arms out, as if that would offer some protection.

"Not Harry, not Harry, please not Harry!"

He so wanted to kill her, but Severus had provided invaluable information, and the Dark Lord always rewarded the loyal.  He raised his wand.

"Stand aside, you silly girl… stand aside, now."

"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead—"

"This is my last warning—"

"Not Harry! Please… have mercy… have mercy… Not Harry!  Not Harry!  Please—I'll do anything—" Desperate tears rolled down her cheeks, but she did not move away from the crib.

"Stand aside.  Stand aside, girl!"

Every time you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place


Voldemort did not have patience for her sniveling.  She was clearly not going to give up the boy.  Severus would just have to deal with it.  

"Avada Kedavra!"

She screamed and fell, hitting the carpet with an ungraceful thud.  

Voldemort kicked a limp arm away and stepped closer to the crib.  The little boy sat there, crying, with one thumb in his mouth.  He breathed deeply.  This was it.  After he killed this mere child, there would be no one who could stop him.  He would be invincible, immortal.  No other witch or wizard had ever split his soul into seven pieces.  He raised his wand and shouted the curse.

Pain.

It's all he knew.  Ripping, clawing, biting, burning, breaking.  He was blind, deaf, and helpless.  For how long, he had no idea…

Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees, you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand


November 1st, 1981

Remus Lupin had never seen a more beautiful sunrise.  Pink and gold arrows shot across the sky, dancing with glee.  A crown of colors adorned the roof of the house, cheering the absence of the glowing green skull-and-snake.  Wizards all over the continent were drinking and celebrating, and why shouldn't they?  He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was finally defeated.  They could breathe easily, live without fear.

Remus, however, was not in a celebratory mood.  He stood in the middle of Godric's Hollow, watching the sunrise spread her lovely orange and lilac wings over what could easily turn out to be the worst day of his life.  It was definitely in the top three already.

Crack.

"Oh my God…It can't be."

"It is, Peter."  Remus' own voice surprised him.  It was quiet, but very calm and steady.

"Harry?"

"He survived somehow.  Dumbledore hid him.  He's safe."

"But…how?"  Peter was so used to his friend, the bookworm, having answers.  But Remus didn't have answers this time.  He just shook his head.  Who knows…

More members of the Order popped into the little neighborhood, one by one.  Murmurs of horror and disbelief grew with every person that arrived.

"How'd he find them?"

"James owled me yesterday…"

"Where is he now?"

Remus couldn't take it anymore.  Anything would be preferable to listening to their chatter, even entering the house in front of him.  He forced one foot to move, then the other, until he was moving forward steadily.

"Remus!  Death Eaters might still be in there!"

He ignored them and pushed open the unlocked front door.

It seemed like everything had been destroyed.  Furniture was in pieces, inhabitants of pictures looked around worriedly from inside smashed frames, broken voices still emitted from the remains of the wireless.  A hole was blasted through the wall to the kitchen, revealing that it was just as destroyed.  Lily's precious blender, a rather fantastic Muggle invention that made fruit drinks, lay shattered.  Remus was aware that Peter had followed him, and maybe one or two others, but he ignored them.

It all could have been fixed with a few spells.  But there was an odd beauty in the wreckage.  It was physical proof of the fight that James had known he would lose, but fought anyway.

James himself had fallen at the bottom of the stairs.  His hazel eyes looked unfamiliar to Remus, devoid of laughter and mischief.  His mouth was open in a shout of warning, one that may or may not have reached Lily.  

Remus had seen friends die, on both sides of the war.  Former classmates, teachers, people he had only known for five minutes.  People who hadn't been part of the Order, cut down because the Death Eaters felt like it.  But this was James, who had devoted three years to finding a way to keep Remus company during his transformations.  Who was never at a loss for a joke, even when Lily was in labor and trying to curse him into oblivion.  Who had crossed wands with Voldemort himself three times, and lived.  Why should this time be any different?

The young wizard had expected to cry.  He had expected to lose all pretenses of invincibility and quiet stability, to break into a small child and beg for his mother to come make everything all right.  He was not prepared for this cold, removed man to take over his body.  He wanted to break, to blubber like a baby in his grief for his best friends, but he couldn't even muster up a tear.  He stepped around James' long, gangly limbs and climbed the stairs.

A cold breeze blew down the hallway from the gaping hole that was what remained of the nursery.  Remus walked in, stepping gingerly in between the splintered ruins of the door and dresser.  A colorful Quidditch mobile twisted around lazily as the miniature Snitch fluttered.  

He moved a broken piece of the crib aside.  Lily's unmistakable eyes were filled with terror and sadness, but her gaze was still fixed on where the crib used to stand.  It was then the last puzzle piece fell into place in Remus' mind.

"SIRIUS!" he screamed, rage flooding his body.  "SIRIUS, DAMN YOU!"
Part of Soundtrack of Lily and James project. The song is “Stand” by Rascal Flatts.

Should've Said No: [link]
I Won't Say: [link]
If You're Not the One: [link]

I really wanted to do all eight parts of the series in chronological order, but I got itchy to write this, and I'm totally uninspired by the others. So, The eight part series is now four, and jumps four years. I still MIGHT do the rest, but likely not. I am really happy with what I do have.

It sort of disappointed me that the way Rowling depicted it, James was killed without any fight or struggle. So I took a few artistic liberties. Sue me.

Originally, the scene with Remus wasn't supposed to exist. But I wanted to remind readers that everyone thinks that Sirius betrayed the Potters. Can you imagine? I tried. I imagined what it would feel like if everyone thought that I had betrayed my best friend, causing me to be indirectly responsible for her death. I don't know how Sirius survived. And how the rest of the Order BELIEVED that load of bullshit.

And hey, fun fact of the day, James and Lily were twenty-one when they died. That’s right, twenty-one. When I did the math on that one and worked it out, I was totally shocked. They really were so, so young.

BIG thanks to my betas, :iconcrimsonvendetta: and :iconcatdog217:. They worked really hard on this for me.

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, I didn’t come up with it. I don’t get paid for this. Please show your appreciation and review. It’s the only form of recognition I get.

Faving without commenting sucks. Don't do it. You comment, I'll send love.
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:iconemeraldeyes1:
emeraldeyes1 Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
This is fab!! Made my day :)
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
thanks!!
Reply
:iconlilyjamesship:
lilyjamesship Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Damn you, this is beautifully written D': It made me cry my eyeballs out :( But It's a very good job... Congrats! I'll go wipe my tears now...
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
i'm sorry!!! it made me cry to write it
Reply
:iconlilyjamesship:
lilyjamesship Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
:/ It's beautifully written.. But sad :C I love James-Lily </3
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2012
thanks, i do to
Reply
:iconrunswiththeoceanwolf:
RunsWithTheOceanWolf Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012
So sad but wonderfully written.
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012
thanks
Reply
:iconlemonpirate101:
LemonPirate101 Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
Oh...wow. This is very beautifully written but still so sad. I love how you ended it with Remus' scream to Sirius because I can't even imagine what it must be like to believe your best friend betrayed people you know and love. The song lyrics fit in really well, so it was overall a very moving piece! :)
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
thank you very much!!

yeah, people seem to forget about remus in the days following that attack.
Reply
:iconpottergirl402:
pottergirl402 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
Ok so this is absolutly BEAUTIFUL :cries: and i needed to physically fav it! :clap: AMAZING!!!!!!!!! :love:
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
LOL YAY!!!! i worked crazy hard on this one.
Reply
:iconpottergirl402:
pottergirl402 Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
And it shows! XD
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2011
WOOT
Reply
:iconswissgrl1:
Swissgrl1 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011
No! No! It wasnt Sirius! No! NO!!!! AAAHHHHH it wasnt him *cries* it...wasnt....him...
Nice job btw this gave me like shivers reading it.
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011
yeah, that killed me to write.
happy to hear it!! i always try to give a powerful impact in these emotional pieces. "you might also like "Not My Daughter."
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:iconswissgrl1:
Swissgrl1 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011
I'll look at it right now!
Reply
:iconthetoxicprincess:
TheToxicPrincess Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011
I... I don't even know what to say. I just... wow. This really got to me. I don't know why. It was just so... powerful. Fantastic job.
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011
thank you!!! it was meant to be so, and i'm very glad i achieved that
Reply
:iconthetoxicprincess:
TheToxicPrincess Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011
You definitely did! It's just... Ahh!
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011
haha thanks!!!!
Reply
:iconthetoxicprincess:
TheToxicPrincess Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconnordiclynx:
NordicLynx Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's very well written and stays true to the characters. I when I read it I was going to figure out how old they were, but you had already done that for me ;) It's so sad that they were so young! I'll be 21 in a couple of weeks. I hope I will not meet the same fate... =P
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:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011
well, unless i've missed a memo about a mass-murdering sadist noseless dark lord, i doubt it. i hope you have a happy birthday!!! You know the rule, you have to take 21 shots on your 21st! (JK don't do that, you'd die.)
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:iconnordiclynx:
NordicLynx Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Haha, good. I can feel safe then. Don't worry, I won't ;)
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011
lol GOOD
Reply
:iconskylastar:
SkylaStar Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011
I really like this. While the books told us what happened, we still really only got snippets. I like this full scene that you wrote. And I especially like the scene with Remus, and even Peter. It amazes me that Peter was able to lie to someone that used to be on of his BEST friends that easily...
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011
thanks!! i know, i debated whether he would even have the courage to show up, but I decided that he would. he's already been a spy for years probably, so he'd be used to it.
Reply
:iconskylastar:
SkylaStar Featured By Owner Oct 25, 2011
That's true.
Reply
:iconkatlathedancer:
katlathedancer Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
Wow. This is really, really amazing. :heart:
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
thanks!! james and lily are amazing characters to explore
Reply
:iconkatlathedancer:
katlathedancer Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
no prob! :heart: and I know! I love the marauder's era so much and I always am looking for fanfics about them (especially Remus so I was like whoa when it switched over to his perspective XD)
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:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
I REALLY enjoyed writing his perspective. maybe i'm just morbid, but i'm good at writing grief (not meaning to be immodest, but it's true)
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:iconkatlathedancer:
katlathedancer Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011
Heh, same with me. I absolutely love writing stories to do with pain/death and apparently I made someone cry before. I tend to write alternate universe stories from Tonks's point of view so currently I'm working on something that's going to be from Tonks's perspective after the battle of hogwarts in which she lived, but Remus was killed.
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:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011
oh wow! that sounds really good! very sad, but i can't wait to see how you do it.
Reply
:iconkatlathedancer:
katlathedancer Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2011
thanks! I'll give you the link to it when it's posted ^-^
Reply
:iconmel-o-puff:
Mel-o-puff Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
What happened to Sirius?!?! I wish you would continue as I really like this story line! But i can understand if you don't.... anyways good all in all :)
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
remember, everyone thought HE was the secret-keeper. only the potters, sirius, peter and voldemort knew the truth. even dumbledore thought sirius had betrayed them.
thanks!! i might. but if i do, this would be the last one chronologically. the whole thing was about james' and lily's lives together.
Reply
:iconmel-o-puff:
Mel-o-puff Featured By Owner Oct 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh I understand now XD thanks
Reply
:iconalways687:
always687 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
Amazing...
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
thanks!!
Reply
:iconthaic122:
thaic122 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011
broke my heart so seriously that I am at loss of words. really, this is incredible sensitive and sad. I feel kinda of lost now, but I just gotta say this is a really good job. heartbreaking, but awesome.
Reply
:iconthaic122:
thaic122 Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011
I may or may not come back later to say how I'm totally angry with Pete right now. U just scratched out the good time I was having around him in all the marauders era fanfics I've been reading.
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011
aw thanks
why do you feel lost?
Reply
:iconbeatlesxxbaby:
BeatlesxxBaby Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Oh godbeard. I hope you know what a THO is. Cause this is so amazing. I couldn't help but cry. It was so beautifully written. :iconbigheartplz:
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011
i do not know what a THO is. explain?
and thanks, I really tried!
Reply
:iconbeatlesxxbaby:
BeatlesxxBaby Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Oh dear. It's rather awkward to explain, so I'm just going to say that I am quite the fan of your writing, and it pretty much gives me the equivalent of a boner. I'm a stickler for good grammar and punctuation and all that shebang, and you use it so well, it's just gorgeous. c:
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011
LOLOL!!!!! good to know!! i'm thrilled you love my writing so much.
Reply
:iconbeatlesxxbaby:
BeatlesxxBaby Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Yeeeah(:

It just makes me glad to know that grammar, punctuation, and pretty much everything important to writing aren't dying! :happybounce:
Reply
:iconyellow-tulips:
yellow-tulips Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
to the writers who really care, they are not
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